The birth of Evelyn Mae!

I warn you now, dear reader, this birth story is incredibly long and may seem a bit tedious, but I had to include every detail so that I wouldn't forget anything! Thanks in advance for taking the time to read about the coolest thing I've ever done =]

Evelyn's Birth Story

I never realized how much stock everyone seems to put in a baby’s due date until I began nearing the end of my pregnancy. This being my first baby, I had no idea what to expect from my body or my emotions in those final weeks, but apparently, to the outside world, I had turned into a ticking time bomb set to blow by no later than March 16^th. Questions like “How many weeks left now?” morphed into “That baby’s not here yet?!” and “Aren’t you just miserable?” when I was barely 37 weeks.

Truthfully, I was nowhere near miserable, except when people kept asking if I was. My pregnancy was a breeze, once the morning sickness subsided, and I was pretty content to let my baby stay inside as long as she wanted, even if that meant going to 42 weeks.

But when March 16^th came and went with absolutely no signs of labor, I realized that I too had been viewing that date as somewhat of a finish line. I still wasn’t very concerned about being overdue, but I was growing increasingly less patient with the random people stopping by my cubicle to marvel at my still pregnant self and to ask me what I found out at my last appointment. I never would have guessed so many strangers would be interested in my intimate bodily functions. I began wishing baby would come just so I wouldn’t have to dodge all of the questions anymore!

After multiple Non-Stress Tests and an ultrasound that showed that my sweet baby was way too happy in utero, and an extremely stressful appointment with an obstetrician trying to “encourage” me into induction with warnings of possible cord prolapse at only 2 days past due, my confidence in my body was beginning to wane. Luckily, I had an amazing midwife, Katie, who I made sure to see for all appointments after the disastrous OB affair. Katie assured me that it was no big deal for me to go past due, and that, as long as baby and I remained healthy and happy, she would continue to follow my lead.

At 41 weeks, I met with Katie again for another NST. Baby performed beautifully, yet again. She asked how I was doing and if I was still comfortable continuing on. I told her I was still fine going as long as I needed to, but I knew that eventually my time would be up and it would be deemed necessary to induce. Katie confirmed that about 10 days was as far as they would want me to go and that if I didn’t go into labor on my own by my appointment the following Tuesday, I would most likely be scheduled for induction Wednesday morning.

My heart dropped. A medical induction was something I had been adamant against wanting, and, in truth, been afraid of since becoming pregnant. I knew that baby would come when she was ready, and I hated the idea of trying to force her out. At this point, my amazing husband, Mike, became my advocate. He asked Katie what options we had, knowing that my goal was to have an un-medicated birth, and, after discussing the different things that might jump start labor, he and I agreed that it would be in our best interest to have Katie strip my membranes. I was already 2 centimeters dilated with a very soft cervix, so we hoped this might be the little nudge needed to get things moving. As much as I had not wanted to augment my labor in any way, I also wanted to ensure that I had tried every non-medical method before consenting to Pitocin. I left the office feeling good and crampy and with high hopes for the rest of the weekend.

Unfortunately, after laying down for a nap, the cramping subsided and did not return for the rest of the weekend. As Tuesday crept closer, I became increasingly convinced that my body just had no idea what it was doing and that there was no way I was going to go into labor on my own. I emailed my boss on Sunday evening to let him know that I would be induced at some point that week and would be starting my maternity leave on Monday to get myself ready.

Monday morning I slept late. For the first time in several days I had actually slept soundly through the night, and I took full advantage of it. When I did finally pull myself out of bed, I decided to take advantage of some of my midwife’s advice and get down on my hands and knees and do some cleaning. I scrubbed the bathtub and thoroughly cleaned our front loading washing machine which had gotten clogged with pet hair and started leaking. At one point the dog hurt himself while chasing the cat and Mike ended up leaving work early to help me take him to the vet. By the end of the day I was worn out and annoyed…and still not in labor.

Mike went to bed around 8:30 Monday night, which is very unusual for my night owl of a husband, but I wasn’t feeling tired enough for bed. I decided to take a shower to try to relax. As I stood in the hot water I began to pray and to talk to my little baby. I told my sweet girl that if she did not come out on her own, the doctors would try to force her out and that I was afraid she wouldn’t like it. I confided that I was scared for her safety. I told her that her daddy and I loved her and couldn’t wait to meet her and see her beautiful face.

I felt very weak. Even though I had been continually praying for peace about the possibility of induction, I never felt that peace. I pleaded with God to bring my baby naturally. In that moment I let all of my stress, fear and anxiety come to the surface and I cried. Sobbed is probably more accurate. I sobbed and sang a lullaby.

“All night, all day, angels watchin’ over my, my Lord.
All night, all day, angels watchin’ over me.
Now I lay me down to sleep. Angels watchin’ over me, my Lord.
Pray the Lord my soul to keep. Angels watchin’ over me.”

As I sang those words over and over, the truth that my God is in control and is constantly watching over me began to calm me. I prayed earnestly that my baby would come in His perfect time and that I would know peace in whatever way she came, and, for the first time, I really did feel some peace.

After all of that emotional upheaval there was no way I could sleep, so I turned on The Business of Being Born to try to get into a birthy mindset while I blow-dried my hair and then laid across my birth ball. I could watch that documentary over and over again and never get tired of it.

I finally got into bed around 11:20 pm. Just as I got nice and comfortable, Little Bit began moving like crazy. It made me smile to feel her so strong and active. I laid there enjoying her dance party and not paying any attention to the time passing or the fact that I was unable to fall asleep.

Around 2:00 am I began to notice some back pain, but didn’t think much of it. My back always seemed to hurt these days. However, after about an hour, I realized that the back pain wasn’t constant. It seemed to come and go. At about 3:30 am I decided that it might be worth it to try to time these pains and see if there was any kind of pattern to them. It was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable to lie in bed so I grabbed my pillow and relocated to the couch. Once situated there, I downloaded a contraction timer on my phone and began tracking the back pain. Right from the get go the pains were coming anywhere from three to seven minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds. I was also beginning to feel them start in my lower belly and then move to my back. I was in denial for awhile, but eventually had to accept that these were, in fact, contractions. While they were not comfortable, they weren’t particularly painful, so I tried to relax and hopefully sleep a little. I was sure they would stop or at least slow down before long.  I was wrong. The contractions did not stop or slow and I wasn’t able to sleep. I eventually got out the heating pad to help with the back pain, and I was at least able to rest a little.

Sometime around 6:00 am, when I was pretty sure this was the real deal, I couldn’t stand being alone any more so I went to wake up Mike. “Babe, I’m in labor,” I said as I shook his arm. His response of “Are you serious?” made me laugh. I assured him that I was very serious. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him become coherent so quickly. I explained that the contractions weren’t terrible, but that I was feeling lonely and needed some company. He immediately got up and got himself completely ready, and, after helping me time a few more contractions (still 3-7 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds to 1 minute), encouraged me to check in with the midwife.

I called the office and a few minutes later, Kendra, the midwife on call, called me back. I told her about my contractions so far – that they seemed close together, but that I could still easily walk and talk through them. We discussed my desire for a natural birth. She was very excited and encouraging about that, which helped to get me excited as well. She said that, because I was past 41 weeks, the hospital would not send me home if I went in, but that it sounded like I would be ok to stay home a while longer if I wanted to. She let me know that she was currently on her way home, but that Katie and Emily, another midwife I had seen several times, would be on call for the rest of the day. I had decided early on that I would deliver with whichever midwife was on call, but I was definitely glad that Katie was going to be available.

Since I was still able to function during contractions, I opted to stay home a while longer. I ate a little apple sauce and nibbled on some crackers. In an effort to pass the time and hopefully take my mind off of my increasing discomfort, we turned on the movie Tommy Boy. I sat on the couch, laid on the couch, knelt on the floor and leaned over the couch. I couldn’t stay in one position for terribly long. Mike rubbed my back when I asked and helped me hold the heating pad in place. I really appreciated his willingness to help me when I asked, and also to leave me be when I needed that.

I decided I would try to take a bit of a nap, since I hadn’t slept at all since 11:00 the previous morning. I laid on the couch with the heating pad against my back. With each contraction I pushed hard on my hip. The counter-pressure helped make the pain a little more bearable, and I was able to doze a little between the contractions.

A little before noon Mike came in to make himself some lunch, and I was beginning to wonder how much longer I was going to last. While I was still able to handle the discomfort, I was beginning to worry if I would continue to be able to if it kept up for many more hours. I decided to call the midwife to get her opinion on what I should do. I was nervous about going to the hospital too early or waiting too late. Having never gone through labor before, I wasn’t sure how I would know when it was time. I called the office and the nurse was able to catch Katie between appointments to talk to me.

Katie listened as I described my labor. For some reason, the contractions seemed slightly less intense while I was on the phone. Where I had been sounding rather breathless while talking when one would hit, while talking to Katie I was able to talk normally. Possibly because my speech didn’t seem labored, Katie didn’t think I needed to come in quite yet. She suggested that I take a bath and see if I could nap in the water and to eat something high in protein. She also gave me her cell phone number and said to call her when I was ready to come in and she would meet me at the hospital.

Having previously given up on my body’s ability to naturally go into labor, Mike and I hadn’t been to the grocery in a week or so. I think in both of our minds, we had decided to wait until my induction was scheduled to do one final grocery run, though neither of us actually said this out loud. That being the case, we had a whole lot of nothing to eat. Mike did not want to leave me home alone, so I called my mom to bring me some of my favorite Greek yogurt, and in the mean time I ran my bath.

At first, the warm water felt ok. I had a contraction while sitting up in the water and discovered that the pain wasn’t really lessened and I had to raise myself up so that my tail bone wasn’t in contact with the hard bottom of the tub. I tried laying down to see if that was more comfortable. It wasn’t. I got myself situated and thought that I possibly could doze a bit when I was hit with the most painful contraction yet. I shifted my hips to see if that would give me some relief, but a couple more contractions showed me that the bath was not going to work. The intensity of the contractions seemed amplified by the water, rather than muted. I was beginning to feel increased pressure as though I had to have a bowel movement and one contraction seemed to never completely fade before the next one came. Looking back, I believe I may have been beginning transition at this point.

After getting out of the tub, I ate some of the yogurt my mom had dropped off and then let Mike know that I thought we probably needed to go on to the hospital. I called Katie and left a message for her explaining the new intensity of my contractions and that I no longer felt comfortable being at home. I was definitely not able to talk normally through the pain anymore. We ended up leaving for the hospital around 1:30 pm. The car ride wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as I thought it might be. Maybe it was because I knew where I was headed, but it was definitely more bearable than the bath!

When we arrived at the hospital I hobbled my way up to labor and delivery. I don’t think I could have handled sitting in a wheelchair, though it was offered.  The nurse at the front desk asked, “What can I do for you?” I had to stop and think for a second. What are you supposed to say when you get to the hospital? “Um, I’m in labor” was the best I could do.  I also had no idea that I would have a million papers to sign upon check in, but my nurses were very sweet and patient. As I was getting changed and situated in bed, Katie came in. She asked if I was still planning to not have an epidural. I told her I was. Once I was situated she checked me. I was fully prepared to hear that I was a good 4 centimeters or some other small and depressing number. I was, therefore, very pleasantly surprised when she said, “I’m not surprised you’re feeling a lot of pressure. You’re 8 centimeters.” Praise the Lord! Of course, I knew that it could take hours to make those last 2 centimeters, but I was just relieved that I hadn’t gone in too early.  Apparently, at some point, the nurses were talking to me about prepping me for an IV and Katie told them no. I have no recollection of this. Mike told me this later. I do remember Katie telling me that because I was so far along and doing so well that I wouldn’t need an IV. I’m definitely glad that Katie was in the room at that moment to make that call. Definitely another blessing! Both not having to have an IV and having such a wonderful midwife to be my voice when I was clearly oblivious.

For the next couple of hours, I worked my way through the ever increasing contractions. I spent some time rocking on the birth ball. Katie had Mike massage my back with warm olive oil. Even in my discomfort, I couldn’t help but be proud of my texture sensitive husband who didn’t flinch away from getting his hands covered in oil. Unfortunately, he didn’t quite have the practiced touch that Katie had, and I eventually asked him to stop. I sincerely hoped that my, “Please, don’t touch me,” didn’t come out sounding ungrateful. I discovered that I’m a very independent laborer. I wanted my husband there, but I didn’t really want to interact with him beyond a comment here and there.

To my surprise, I ended up spending a majority of my labor at the hospital in the bed. I always thought I would be up walking around, using the ball or at least changing positions often. I think when it came down to it, I was too exhausted for most of those things so when the nurses needed me to get into the bed to monitor baby for a few minutes, I found a good position for managing my discomfort and then stayed there.

I laid on my right side, gripping the handrail for dear life with each contraction. One of my nurses encouraged me to rock on my hip during the contractions to help open everything up. I remember her asking me to do this, and, feeling trapped in my pain, I told her I couldn’t. She assured me that I could. It did seem to be helpful to have something to do, rather than just lay there, and, though it did not really relieve the pain, it didn’t make it any worse either, so with each contraction I rocked. I was ready to get this baby out, so anything that would speed that process along I would do.  As the contractions continued to increase in intensity they thankfully also became shorter. I found it amazing how my body adjusted to make it possible for me to continue to handle labor.

I was checked again a little after 5 pm and found to be nearly 10 centimeters. The nurse who checked me told me to make sure not to push because it could cause the last little lip of cervix to become irritated and inflamed. I could feel my body beginning to bearing down on its own. It became a bit of a battle to try to relax through contractions while also trying to fight the urge to push. A few minutes later Katie came in and asked how I was doing. When I let her know it was getting difficult to hold back she immediately told me to let my body do what it needed to do and definitely not to hold back. Oh, sweet relief! Then I was left alone with instructions to press the call button if I suddenly felt a lot of pressure or my water broke. The nurse said my water breaking wouldn’t be a big gush – maybe just a medium gush. I guess they were assuming my fluid levels would be lower since I was 10 days past due. Whatever type of gush, I was ready to get this show on the road. It was exciting to know that I was nearing the end and would soon meet my little girl! It was also kind of terrifying.

It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes or so later that I felt that gush, and it was not medium! Mike said there was an audible pop, but I really can’t recall. I just remember that I pressed the call button, but at that exact moment Katie and several nurses came in anyway, and the train really got rolling! I was helped out of bed to use the bathroom while the linens were changed and the bed adjusted for me to push leaning over the back of it. Katie said that sitting on the toilet would be a good place to practice pushing. Unfortunately, the toilet, like the bath had been, was absolutely miserable. Apparently I am the opposite of most laboring women. During all of my research I kept seeing women talk about loving to labor on the toilet and in the bath. Not this girl.

Instead, I found it more comfortable to squat at the side of the bed. I believe there were a few nurses present who had never seen anyone not push in the standard spread-eagle position. I giggled a little when I heard Katie ask for hot water and towels. I thought that was just something they said in the movies. As it turned out, that was pretty much the only thing that happened like it does in the movies.

A few minutes of squatting caused my legs to become very tired and shaky, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to really push a baby out like that. I once again ended up laying in bed on my side. In another demonstration of her awesomeness, Katie told my husband to come and hold my leg. There was no asking involved. It was wonderful to have her so confidently in control of everything. And this time I was not opposed to my husband touching me. It felt good to have him close as we were getting ready to welcome our daughter.

I was worried that pushing would be extremely painful, but for me it felt like a release. At this point I couldn’t not push. I tried to be very controlled with each contraction. I was determined not to tear. There was no counting to ten and no coaching. I simply pushed as hard and as long as I felt was necessary. I believe every nurse in the labor and delivery ward was in my room by this time. I was the only person in labor and they don’t see very many natural births. I had an entire cheerleading squad behind me. One sweet nurse even took our camera to capture these precious moments for us.

I’m not sure how long I actually pushed, maybe 20 or 30 minutes. It didn’t feel like very long to me, but at the same time it seemed like she was crowning for an eternity. At one point I told Katie that it felt like I was birthing a beach ball rather than a tiny baby. A nurse asked if I wanted to touch the baby’s head so I did. I’m not sure what I expected, but what I felt didn’t feel remotely like a head and I’m kind of glad I couldn’t actually see what I was touching.  Finally, at 6:11pm on March 26^th, after roughly 16 hours of labor, our beautiful baby girl, Evelyn Mae, entered this world. Katie told me to reach down and take my daughter, but in the position I was laying I couldn’t reach her! Katie had to lift her to me, and once she was in my arms I never wanted to let go. At 6 pounds 15 ounces and 20 inches long she was absolutely perfect.  Mike cut her cord, which he had insisted for the entire 9 months that he would not do. He said that after watching the entire labor from the business end (something else he was not intending to do), cutting the cord was no big deal.

Despite my best efforts, I did end up with 3 small tears and required some stitches. I also suffered some excessive bleeding and had to have a shot of Pitocin. Mike said that the bleeding was making him nervous, but one of the many things I love about Katie is that she doesn’t make a big deal about anything. She fixed the situation quickly and calmly without causing undue stress. I wouldn’t have known anything at all was wrong had I not known that Pitocin is given in the event of post partum hemorrhage. I was in my own world with my sweet sweet baby. We laid there, basking in our euphoria, for over an hour. Evelyn latched on quickly and nursed for quite awhile, then settled on my chest, wide eyed and content.

I feel ridiculously blessed to have experienced such an easy and uneventful labor and birth. I can’t necessarily say that it was the birth I planned for. How do you truly plan your birth? But I don’t think I could have asked for things to go any more smoothly than they did.  The Lord heard my prayers and gave me above and beyond what I could have asked for. It was the most amazing experience of my life, and, quite honestly, I can’t wait to do it again. There has definitely been a passion for birth, particularly natural birth, ignited in me.

Now, nearly two months later, it’s hard to imagine that the beautiful little girl cooing on the floor next to me was once growing inside of me. I am amazed that my husband and I could have created something so perfect and in awe of God’s amazing design. Though we had some struggles with weight in the beginning and had to supplement with formula for a bit, Evelyn has since become an excellent, though slightly lazy, nurser. She now weighs over 10 pounds and has outgrown all of her newborn clothes. She is healthy and happy and captures my heart anew every single day.

Here are some pictures of our beautiful baby!

And a few days after coming home:

We're madly in love with our beautiful girl! It's hard to believe that I haven't slept more than 3 consecutive hours in nearly 2 months, but I can't imagine life any other way now!