Evelyn's Birth Story
I never realized how much stock everyone seems to put in a
baby’s due date until I began nearing the end of my pregnancy. This being my
first baby, I had no idea what to expect from my body or my emotions in those
final weeks, but apparently, to the outside world, I had turned into a ticking
time bomb set to blow by no later than March 16th. Questions like
“How many weeks left now?” morphed into “That baby’s not here yet?!” and
“Aren’t you just miserable?” when I was barely 37 weeks.
Truthfully, I was nowhere near miserable, except when people
kept asking if I was. My pregnancy was a breeze, once the morning sickness
subsided, and I was pretty content to let my baby stay inside as long as she
wanted, even if that meant going to 42 weeks.
But when March 16th came and went with absolutely
no signs of labor, I realized that I too had been viewing that date as somewhat
of a finish line. I still wasn’t very concerned about being overdue, but I was
growing increasingly less patient with the random people stopping by my cubicle
to marvel at my still pregnant self and to ask me what I found out at my last
appointment. I never would have guessed so many strangers would be interested
in my intimate bodily functions. I began wishing baby would come just so I
wouldn’t have to dodge all of the questions anymore!
After multiple Non-Stress Tests and an ultrasound that
showed that my sweet baby was way too happy in utero, and an extremely
stressful appointment with an obstetrician trying to “encourage” me into
induction with warnings of possible cord prolapse at only 2 days past due, my
confidence in my body was beginning to wane. Luckily, I had an amazing midwife,
Katie, who I made sure to see for all appointments after the disastrous OB
affair. Katie assured me that it was no big deal for me to go past due, and
that, as long as baby and I remained healthy and happy, she would continue to
follow my lead.
At 41 weeks, I met with Katie again for another NST. Baby
performed beautifully, yet again. She asked how I was doing and if I was still
comfortable continuing on. I told her I was still fine going as long as I
needed to, but I knew that eventually my time would be up and it would be
deemed necessary to induce. Katie confirmed that about 10 days was as far as
they would want me to go and that if I didn’t go into labor on my own by my
appointment the following Tuesday, I would most likely be scheduled for
induction Wednesday morning.
My heart dropped. A medical induction was something I had
been adamant against wanting, and, in truth, been afraid of since becoming
pregnant. I knew that baby would come when she was ready, and I hated the idea
of trying to force her out. At this point, my amazing husband, Mike, became my
advocate. He asked Katie what options we had, knowing that my goal was to have
an un-medicated birth, and, after discussing the different things that might
jump start labor, he and I agreed that it would be in our best interest to have
Katie strip my membranes. I was already 2 centimeters dilated with a very soft
cervix, so we hoped this might be the little nudge needed to get things moving.
As much as I had not wanted to augment my labor in any way, I also wanted to
ensure that I had tried every non-medical method before consenting to Pitocin.
I left the office feeling good and crampy and with high hopes for the rest of
the weekend.
Unfortunately, after laying down for a nap, the cramping
subsided and did not return for the rest of the weekend. As Tuesday crept closer,
I became increasingly convinced that my body just had no idea what it was doing
and that there was no way I was going to go into labor on my own. I emailed my
boss on Sunday evening to let him know that I would be induced at some point
that week and would be starting my maternity leave on Monday to get myself
ready.
Monday morning I slept late. For the first time in several
days I had actually slept soundly through the night, and I took full advantage
of it. When I did finally pull myself out of bed, I decided to take advantage
of some of my midwife’s advice and get down on my hands and knees and do some
cleaning. I scrubbed the bathtub and thoroughly cleaned our front loading
washing machine which had gotten clogged with pet hair and started leaking. At one
point the dog hurt himself while chasing the cat and Mike ended up leaving work
early to help me take him to the vet. By the end of the day I was worn out and
annoyed…and still not in labor.
Mike went to bed around 8:30 Monday night, which is very
unusual for my night owl of a husband, but I wasn’t feeling tired enough for
bed. I decided to take a shower to try to relax. As I stood in the hot water I
began to pray and to talk to my little baby. I told my sweet girl that if she
did not come out on her own, the doctors would try to force her out and that I
was afraid she wouldn’t like it. I confided that I was scared for her safety. I
told her that her daddy and I loved her and couldn’t wait to meet her and see
her beautiful face.
I felt very weak. Even though I had been continually praying
for peace about the possibility of induction, I never felt that peace. I
pleaded with God to bring my baby naturally. In that moment I let all of my
stress, fear and anxiety come to the surface and I cried. Sobbed is probably
more accurate. I sobbed and sang a lullaby.
“All night, all day, angels watchin’ over my, my Lord.
All night, all day, angels watchin’ over me.
Now I lay me down to sleep. Angels watchin’ over me, my Lord.
Pray the Lord my soul to keep. Angels watchin’ over me.”
All night, all day, angels watchin’ over me.
Now I lay me down to sleep. Angels watchin’ over me, my Lord.
Pray the Lord my soul to keep. Angels watchin’ over me.”
As I sang those words over and over, the truth that my God
is in control and is constantly watching over me began to calm me. I prayed
earnestly that my baby would come in His perfect time and that I would know
peace in whatever way she came, and, for the first time, I really did feel some
peace.
After all of that emotional upheaval there was no way I
could sleep, so I turned on The Business of Being Born to try to get into a
birthy mindset while I blow-dried my hair and then laid across my birth ball. I
could watch that documentary over and over again and never get tired of it.
I finally got into bed around 11:20 pm. Just as I got nice
and comfortable, Little Bit began moving like crazy. It made me smile to feel
her so strong and active. I laid there enjoying her dance party and not paying
any attention to the time passing or the fact that I was unable to fall asleep.
Around 2:00 am I began to notice some back pain, but didn’t
think much of it. My back always seemed to hurt these days. However, after
about an hour, I realized that the back pain wasn’t constant. It seemed to come
and go. At about 3:30 am I decided that it might be worth it to try to time
these pains and see if there was any kind of pattern to them. It was becoming
increasingly more uncomfortable to lie in bed so I grabbed my pillow and
relocated to the couch. Once situated there, I downloaded a contraction timer
on my phone and began tracking the back pain. Right from the get go the pains
were coming anywhere from three to seven minutes apart and lasting about 45
seconds. I was also beginning to feel them start in my lower belly and then
move to my back. I was in denial for awhile, but eventually had to accept that
these were, in fact, contractions. While they were not comfortable, they
weren’t particularly painful, so I tried to relax and hopefully sleep a little.
I was sure they would stop or at least slow down before long. I was wrong. The contractions did not stop or
slow and I wasn’t able to sleep. I eventually got out the heating pad to help
with the back pain, and I was at least able to rest a little.
Sometime around 6:00 am, when I was pretty sure this was the
real deal, I couldn’t stand being alone any more so I went to wake up Mike.
“Babe, I’m in labor,” I said as I shook his arm. His response of “Are you
serious?” made me laugh. I assured him that I was very serious. I don’t think
I’ve ever seen him become coherent so quickly. I explained that the
contractions weren’t terrible, but that I was feeling lonely and needed some
company. He immediately got up and got himself completely ready, and, after
helping me time a few more contractions (still 3-7 minutes apart and lasting 45
seconds to 1 minute), encouraged me to check in with the midwife.
I called the office and a few minutes later, Kendra, the
midwife on call, called me back. I told her about my contractions so far – that
they seemed close together, but that I could still easily walk and talk through
them. We discussed my desire for a natural birth. She was very excited and
encouraging about that, which helped to get me excited as well. She said that,
because I was past 41 weeks, the hospital would not send me home if I went in,
but that it sounded like I would be ok to stay home a while longer if I wanted
to. She let me know that she was currently on her way home, but that Katie and
Emily, another midwife I had seen several times, would be on call for the rest
of the day. I had decided early on that I would deliver with whichever midwife
was on call, but I was definitely glad that Katie was going to be available.
Since I was still able to function during contractions, I
opted to stay home a while longer. I ate a little apple sauce and nibbled on
some crackers. In an effort to pass the time and hopefully take my mind off of
my increasing discomfort, we turned on the movie Tommy Boy. I sat on the couch,
laid on the couch, knelt on the floor and leaned over the couch. I couldn’t
stay in one position for terribly long. Mike rubbed my back when I asked and
helped me hold the heating pad in place. I really appreciated his willingness
to help me when I asked, and also to leave me be when I needed that.
I decided I would try to take a bit of a nap, since I hadn’t
slept at all since 11:00 the previous morning. I laid on the couch with the
heating pad against my back. With each contraction I pushed hard on my hip. The
counter-pressure helped make the pain a little more bearable, and I was able to
doze a little between the contractions.
A little before noon Mike came in to make himself some
lunch, and I was beginning to wonder how much longer I was going to last. While
I was still able to handle the discomfort, I was beginning to worry if I would
continue to be able to if it kept up for many more hours. I decided to call the
midwife to get her opinion on what I should do. I was nervous about going to
the hospital too early or waiting too late. Having never gone through labor
before, I wasn’t sure how I would know when it was time. I called the office
and the nurse was able to catch Katie between appointments to talk to me.
Katie listened as I described my labor. For some reason, the
contractions seemed slightly less intense while I was on the phone. Where I had
been sounding rather breathless while talking when one would hit, while talking
to Katie I was able to talk normally. Possibly because my speech didn’t seem
labored, Katie didn’t think I needed to come in quite yet. She suggested that I
take a bath and see if I could nap in the water and to eat something high in
protein. She also gave me her cell phone number and said to call her when I was
ready to come in and she would meet me at the hospital.
Having previously given up on my body’s ability to naturally
go into labor, Mike and I hadn’t been to the grocery in a week or so. I think
in both of our minds, we had decided to wait until my induction was scheduled
to do one final grocery run, though neither of us actually said this out loud.
That being the case, we had a whole lot of nothing to eat. Mike did not want to
leave me home alone, so I called my mom to bring me some of my favorite Greek
yogurt, and in the mean time I ran my bath.
At first, the warm water felt ok. I had a contraction while
sitting up in the water and discovered that the pain wasn’t really lessened and
I had to raise myself up so that my tail bone wasn’t in contact with the hard
bottom of the tub. I tried laying down to see if that was more comfortable. It
wasn’t. I got myself situated and thought that I possibly could doze a bit when
I was hit with the most painful contraction yet. I shifted my hips to see if
that would give me some relief, but a couple more contractions showed me that
the bath was not going to work. The intensity of the contractions seemed
amplified by the water, rather than muted. I was beginning to feel increased
pressure as though I had to have a bowel movement and one contraction seemed to
never completely fade before the next one came. Looking back, I believe I may
have been beginning transition at this point.
After getting out of the tub, I ate some of the yogurt my
mom had dropped off and then let Mike know that I thought we probably needed to
go on to the hospital. I called Katie and left a message for her explaining the
new intensity of my contractions and that I no longer felt comfortable being at
home. I was definitely not able to talk normally through the pain anymore. We
ended up leaving for the hospital around 1:30 pm. The car ride wasn’t nearly as
uncomfortable as I thought it might be. Maybe it was because I knew where I was
headed, but it was definitely more bearable than the bath!
When we arrived at the hospital I hobbled my way up to labor
and delivery. I don’t think I could have handled sitting in a wheelchair,
though it was offered. The nurse at the
front desk asked, “What can I do for you?” I had to stop and think for a
second. What are you supposed to say when you get to the hospital? “Um, I’m in
labor” was the best I could do. I also
had no idea that I would have a million papers to sign upon check in, but my
nurses were very sweet and patient. As I was getting changed and situated in
bed, Katie came in. She asked if I was still planning to not have an epidural.
I told her I was. Once I was situated she checked me. I was fully prepared to
hear that I was a good 4 centimeters or some other small and depressing number.
I was, therefore, very pleasantly surprised when she said, “I’m not surprised
you’re feeling a lot of pressure. You’re 8 centimeters.” Praise the Lord! Of
course, I knew that it could take hours to make those last 2 centimeters, but I
was just relieved that I hadn’t gone in too early. Apparently, at some point, the nurses were
talking to me about prepping me for an IV and Katie told them no. I have no
recollection of this. Mike told me this later. I do remember Katie telling me
that because I was so far along and doing so well that I wouldn’t need an IV.
I’m definitely glad that Katie was in the room at that moment to make that
call. Definitely another blessing! Both not having to have an IV and having
such a wonderful midwife to be my voice when I was clearly oblivious.
For the next couple of hours, I worked my way through the
ever increasing contractions. I spent some time rocking on the birth ball.
Katie had Mike massage my back with warm olive oil. Even in my discomfort, I
couldn’t help but be proud of my texture sensitive husband who didn’t flinch
away from getting his hands covered in oil. Unfortunately, he didn’t quite have
the practiced touch that Katie had, and I eventually asked him to stop. I
sincerely hoped that my, “Please, don’t touch me,” didn’t come out sounding
ungrateful. I discovered that I’m a very independent laborer. I wanted my
husband there, but I didn’t really want to interact with him beyond a comment
here and there.
To my surprise, I ended up spending a majority of my labor
at the hospital in the bed. I always thought I would be up walking around,
using the ball or at least changing positions often. I think when it came down
to it, I was too exhausted for most of those things so when the nurses needed
me to get into the bed to monitor baby for a few minutes, I found a good
position for managing my discomfort and then stayed there.
I laid on my right side, gripping the handrail for dear life
with each contraction. One of my nurses encouraged me to rock on my hip during
the contractions to help open everything up. I remember her asking me to do
this, and, feeling trapped in my pain, I told her I couldn’t. She assured me
that I could. It did seem to be helpful to have something to do, rather than
just lay there, and, though it did not really relieve the pain, it didn’t make
it any worse either, so with each contraction I rocked. I was ready to get this
baby out, so anything that would speed that process along I would do. As the contractions continued to increase in
intensity they thankfully also became shorter. I found it amazing how my body
adjusted to make it possible for me to continue to handle labor.
I was checked again a little after 5 pm and found to be
nearly 10 centimeters. The nurse who checked me told me to make sure not to
push because it could cause the last little lip of cervix to become irritated
and inflamed. I could feel my body beginning to bearing down on its own. It
became a bit of a battle to try to relax through contractions while also trying
to fight the urge to push. A few minutes later Katie came in and asked how I
was doing. When I let her know it was getting difficult to hold back she
immediately told me to let my body do what it needed to do and definitely not
to hold back. Oh, sweet relief! Then I was left alone with instructions to
press the call button if I suddenly felt a lot of pressure or my water broke.
The nurse said my water breaking wouldn’t be a big gush – maybe just a medium
gush. I guess they were assuming my fluid levels would be lower since I was 10
days past due. Whatever type of gush, I was ready to get this show on the road.
It was exciting to know that I was nearing the end and would soon meet my
little girl! It was also kind of terrifying.
It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes or so later that
I felt that gush, and it was not medium! Mike said there was an audible pop,
but I really can’t recall. I just remember that I pressed the call button, but
at that exact moment Katie and several nurses came in anyway, and the train
really got rolling! I was helped out of bed to use the bathroom while the
linens were changed and the bed adjusted for me to push leaning over the back
of it. Katie said that sitting on the toilet would be a good place to practice
pushing. Unfortunately, the toilet, like the bath had been, was absolutely
miserable. Apparently I am the opposite of most laboring women. During all of
my research I kept seeing women talk about loving to labor on the toilet and in
the bath. Not this girl.
Instead, I found it more comfortable to squat at the side of
the bed. I believe there were a few nurses present who had never seen anyone
not push in the standard spread-eagle position. I giggled a little when I heard
Katie ask for hot water and towels. I thought that was just something they said
in the movies. As it turned out, that was pretty much the only thing that
happened like it does in the movies.
A few minutes of squatting caused my legs to become very
tired and shaky, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to really push a baby out like
that. I once again ended up laying in bed on my side. In another demonstration
of her awesomeness, Katie told my husband to come and hold my leg. There was no
asking involved. It was wonderful to have her so confidently in control of
everything. And this time I was not opposed to my husband touching me. It felt
good to have him close as we were getting ready to welcome our daughter.
I was worried that pushing would be extremely painful, but
for me it felt like a release. At this point I couldn’t not push. I tried to be
very controlled with each contraction. I was determined not to tear. There was
no counting to ten and no coaching. I simply pushed as hard and as long as I
felt was necessary. I believe every nurse in the labor and delivery ward was in
my room by this time. I was the only person in labor and they don’t see very
many natural births. I had an entire cheerleading squad behind me. One sweet
nurse even took our camera to capture these precious moments for us.
I’m not sure how long I actually pushed, maybe 20 or 30
minutes. It didn’t feel like very long to me, but at the same time it seemed
like she was crowning for an eternity. At one point I told Katie that it felt
like I was birthing a beach ball rather than a tiny baby. A nurse asked if I
wanted to touch the baby’s head so I did. I’m not sure what I expected, but
what I felt didn’t feel remotely like a head and I’m kind of glad I couldn’t
actually see what I was touching. Finally,
at 6:11pm on March 26th, after roughly 16 hours of labor, our
beautiful baby girl, Evelyn Mae, entered this world. Katie told me to reach
down and take my daughter, but in the position I was laying I couldn’t reach
her! Katie had to lift her to me, and once she was in my arms I never wanted to
let go. At 6 pounds 15 ounces and 20 inches long she was absolutely
perfect. Mike cut her cord, which he had
insisted for the entire 9 months that he would not do. He said that after
watching the entire labor from the business end (something else he was not intending
to do), cutting the cord was no big deal.
Despite my best efforts, I did end up with 3 small tears and
required some stitches. I also suffered some excessive bleeding and had to have
a shot of Pitocin. Mike said that the bleeding was making him nervous, but one
of the many things I love about Katie is that she doesn’t make a big deal about
anything. She fixed the situation quickly and calmly without causing undue
stress. I wouldn’t have known anything at all was wrong had I not known that
Pitocin is given in the event of post partum hemorrhage. I was in my own world with
my sweet sweet baby. We laid there, basking in our euphoria, for over an hour.
Evelyn latched on quickly and nursed for quite awhile, then settled on my
chest, wide eyed and content.
I feel ridiculously blessed to have experienced such an easy
and uneventful labor and birth. I can’t necessarily say that it was the birth I
planned for. How do you truly plan your birth? But I don’t think I could have
asked for things to go any more smoothly than they did. The Lord heard my prayers and gave me above
and beyond what I could have asked for. It was the most amazing experience of
my life, and, quite honestly, I can’t wait to do it again. There has definitely
been a passion for birth, particularly natural birth, ignited in me.
Now, nearly two months later, it’s hard to imagine that the
beautiful little girl cooing on the floor next to me was once growing inside of
me. I am amazed that my husband and I could have created something so perfect
and in awe of God’s amazing design. Though we had some struggles with weight in
the beginning and had to supplement with formula for a bit, Evelyn has since
become an excellent, though slightly lazy, nurser. She now weighs over 10
pounds and has outgrown all of her newborn clothes. She is healthy and happy
and captures my heart anew every single day.
Here are some pictures of our beautiful baby!
And a few days after coming home:
We're madly in love with our beautiful girl! It's hard to believe that I haven't slept more than 3 consecutive hours in nearly 2 months, but I can't imagine life any other way now!
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